Got Gov?

• Is President Obama’s password to Twitter a state secret?
• If your government censor it’s censorship policies you might as well rename your country Airstrip Two.
• I don’t know why the Greek are looking at Germany to bail it out, they should be looking to China.
• France is so famous of losing battles that they have a national holiday after such an occasion, Cinco de Mayo!
• More talk leads to more BS, that’s why peace talks don’t get to any resolution.
• The government invest in smart weapons, smart electrical grids, etc. why doesn’t invest more in smart people?
• Pot Holes: Your tax dollars at making your vehicle not work!
• The US was founded by Free Masons on mason principles and ideals.
• Just like criminals cannot profit from their crimes, so too politicians should be made not to profit from theirs.
• Here is a revenue generating idea, tax up to 80% of all income made by current and former elected politicians.

Econemy

• We may be a nation of many laws but of few jobs.
• Does the American blue collar worker belong in the anthropology museum?
• We do not live in a Capitalist society, this is a Creditlist culture.
• The American Dream + Inception = We Need More Bailouts
• The Federal Reserve is a misnomer, like military intelligence, it’s neither federal and it doesn’t have any reservations of taking bailouts.
• The Federal Reserve is like the prison gang of bankers where instead of getting shanked in the shower they get bonuses in the boiler room.
• Every time you buy a Made in China product, whether it be toys or toothpaste, you have a higher than normal chance you are getting lead too.

Propagandon’t

• Just like guns don’t kill people, religion does not murder, pillage, and rapes people, people murder, pillage, and rapes people.
• News agencies have staff writers, staff photographers, and staff Photoshop illustrators.
• First, Pluto is stripped of it’s planet status, now the Big Bang might be abandoned as the theory of the foundation of the Universe.
• For every insurgent the US military days it has killed, it has killed directly/indirectly 4.3 civilians.
• Give the people bread, not lead!

Questions

• Is President Obama’s password to Twitter a state secret?
• If you travel to a new country and have fast food, like McDonald’s, have you really traveled at all?
• If you can’t be positive at the beginning of an adventure how do you think you will be at the end?
• How can someone who says is good at geography be bad at directions and can’t follow a map to save themselves?
• Do you like it nice and easy or fast and furious?
• What drives you? Passion, success, money, fame, family, or the school bus?
• Have you ever been so hot that even your eyeballs were sweating and that it made you look like you were crying?
• Why should I not mess with Texas?
• If you were a doctor what body part would you specialize?
• Would you rather do something great or be someone great?
• Which is better, a one trick pony or an old dog you can’t teach new tricks?
• Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? And, is she with Waldo?
• Great achievements take great effort, otherwise what’s so great about it?
• Which do you prefer, tiger roll or bear claw?

Randumb

• Old stoners never die, they just get faded.
• I should be dreaming, I need to go deeper.
• Stupidity is viral.
• I am the sum of all my multiple personalities.
• We are all reality stars.
• I want to trademark the word copyright and copyright the word trademark.
• When you tell someone “I love you” there should be an equal emphasis on all words. Some focus on “I” most, others “you”, and some on “you”.
• I wish world governments would work together to develop a machine to slow the spin of the earth to make more hours in the day!
• Some people wakeup with the wrong emotional settings marked as default.
• A real Mexican restaurant has menudo in the menu, otherwise it’s not Mexican.
• I think it’s retarded to think about banning the word retarded.
• Best New Excuse: A hacker stole my homework and posted it on Associated Content!
• Kids are the best except when they are at their worst.
• There is a class of people that call themselves celebrities but there is nothing about them to celebrate.
• If you could power your vehicles with the jealousy from haters, we could solve our need of foreign oil.
• I love digitally, I’m either turned on or turned off.
• In no country, culture, time, or parallel universe does nagging make things better.
• Waiting for the future does not make it arrive any faster.
• I CAN HAZ NOT SLEEP!
• Doctors have more meds than they have answers and in the end I think that the meds make you happier.
• The customer is always right but the customer doesn’t always know what is right, therefore always make the customer feel like he is right.
• What is wrong is in the eye of the beholder.
• Beauty doesn’t much care about the beholder.
• There are a few things that street cred will get you that credit will not.
• FUD is food for the feeble.
• Life is short so go long!
• Life is epic.

Independence Day

• Happy Birthday, America!!! Let’s go out and celebrate with Chinese made fireworks.
• Happy 4th and death to the Hessian mercenaries!
• Be patriotic, think for yourself.
• God bless America cause we can sure use some Divine help.
• Happy Fourth: Don’t Tread on ME!

Superbowl

• Carrie Underwood sounds awful, off key and off tune, sounds like she is yelling. What would Simon say? “Don’t quit your day job.”
• Super Bowl Sunday is a secular holiday.
• Colts touchdown!!!
• Colts touchdown!!! Twitter just down!!!
• Go Daddy #superbowelads so predictable, they are acted and written like bad pron.
• For some today is the Super Bowl, for others the Super Bore, but for most the Brand Bowl.
• Wow. Saints denied. The defensive levees broke.
• Men’s manlyness is attacked in FloTV and Dodge #superbowelads.
• Pinball Wizard? What is a pinball? Who are The Who? How about having an act that has had a hit this century?
• Super Bowl half time show with The When, I mean, The Who… Who are you is a perfect song for them.
• The Who. WHO DAT?
• The Who. I would have asked The Why?
• Saints iTouchdown!!! Now we got a game.
• Colts score to take the lead. Great drive on the third quarter.
• Google gag. What a lousy #superbowlad by Google. They should have made an ad addressing their search censorship and privacy issues.
• Saints TD.
• Saints Miracle Interception!!! Party on Buorbon St.
• Mardi Gras in Miami. The Saints go marching on to a Super Bowl championship.

Politricks

• The Tea Party is a Democratic National Committee ploy to divide and conquer the Republican Party.
• It I’d said that the Greeks invented democracy, but maybe that is a Greek mythology.
• Democracy or capitalism do not even attempt to close the divide between social classes.
• Obama tries to make a comparison between star athletes’ pay and wall street bonuses, but he forgets we didn’t bailout the MLB or the NFL.
• The end product of hope is disillusion.

Got Gov?

• China exports iPods, France exports champagne, Italy exports leather goods, Israel exports Mossad Death Squads.
• In Israel, winning hearts and mind involves ripping open your heart and blowing your mind, literally.
• In Israel, political assassinations are part of the peace process.
• Water boarding: baptism by simulated drowning.
• We should be able to water board our public officials to answer our concerns.
• It seems that University of California prefers out of state/foreign students, they should change their name of University of China.
• The One Government wants to normalize the world’s religion into a single belief.

Econemy

• It used to be that the squeaky wheel gets the grease, now the squeaky wheel gets replace.
• No one ever gets rich by working hard, they get rich by having others working hard for them.
• Fix it tickets won’t fix the economy.
• Wall Street bonuses are not a way to retain employees, it is a pay off to keep the the wool over the public’s eyes.

Propagandon’t

• The government website recovery.gov might as well be renamed to propaganda.gov.
• Ma Zhaoxu, China’s Ministry of Foreign Affairs spokesman, said “There are no dissidents in China.” I guess they must have killed them all.
• Freedom is gained through the bang of revolution and lost through the whimper of torture, oppression, and tyranny in the name of the homeland.
• In the future, we will have vaccines for boredom.
• Curing people of illness and disease is not a profitable and sustainable business model for pharmaceuticals.

Randumb

• No. 2 Pencil: Instead of learning how to think, students tend to learn how to remember factoids.
• Multiple Choice: Instead of learning the material, students tend to learn how to guess.
• Tiger Woods saying “Elin never hit me that night or any other night” is as true as Bill Clinton saying he didn’t have relations with that woman.
• Tiger Woods sounded like a robot reading his prepared and rehearsed public apology, he probably does it like a robot too.
• Tiger Woods wants to change his name to escape all the attention, he is considering Tiger Morningwood.
• Every single scientific innovation has brought us that much closer to complete and total annihilation.
• There is a thin line between suck and blow.
• Forget 49ers and 76ers, I’m a 69er!
• Sour grapes make bad wine.
• Working on the menial, thinking of the grandeur, dreaming of the eternal.
• When people say they are looking forward to making $$, they really mean looking forward to spending $$.
• There are some parks that walking at night is not a walk on the park.
• I need someone thinking on their toes rather than standing on their head.
• Opportunities are magnetized, you should not fight their polarity.
• Getting mad is like taking one step back.
• Do you earn, find, or hustle success? I bend, flatten, and distribute success.
• What you think and what you know are not the same thing.
• The universe is flexible, so much so that it routinely bends light, time, and space.
• Reality is relative.
• Nature favors survivors.
• Positivity is it’s own reward.
• People are often reactionary, and usually to other people.
• crazy idea + watershed moment + great effort = breakthrough
• Time adds up to more than just a period of time.
• Let time be your ally, don’t fight against time, .
• Being too early is just as bad, if not worse, as being too late.
• Marriage makes a men mediocre.
• Your marriage vowels should not include legalese.
• The reason you can’t buy love is because people want to haggle like they are buying a car.
• The roar of a dandy lion is a whisper in the wind.
• Not all questions are meant to be answered, some are meant to be reflected upon.
• What is unobtainable is no reason to stop trying.
• People say stupid things but what is really stupid is to accept what people day without consideration.
• Next to smoking crack nothing kills more brain cells than going shopping.
• For some bitching is living.
• Feelings are not based on facts.

Overheard

• OH: John Mayer is so bluesy for someone so pale.
• OH: you a fake ass bitch, fake as gold plates jewelry, fake as cubic zirconium, fake as $20 rolex, fake as imitation crab meat, …
• OH: I’m the DJ to your soundtrack.

Obamanation

• Obama can’t claim transparency if key questions are off limits.
• I think the Apple iPad announcement got more press than Obama’s State of the Union.

Got Gov?

• In the future we will vote by texting the candidate of our choice to 90GOV.
• Which is the most secretive, the CIA or the FED?
• Large corporations such as Google have a foreign policy, they should openly hire a VP of State.
• Some cities have more traffic cameras than they do stop sings.
• The US government will install Wyclef Jean as dictator of Haiti.
• Haiti Donations: Tiger Woods $3 (Million), Gisele $1.5, Sandra Bullock $1, Brangelina $1, and the whole of China $1 and lead laden toys and toxic toothpaste
• Your government does not want you to think since most government officials don’t.

Econemy

• A bridge tolls are a racket.
• If you build it, they will tax it.
• Greed precedes the downfall of civilizations.
• The fast, easy, simple way to make money: get a job.

Propagandon’t

• Haiti is the new New Orleans.
• Power to the politicians, bailout to the bankers!
• I am going to write a new childrens book: The ABCs of the CIA
• National security is a false religion.

Question

• If Governor Schwarzenegger’s tenure was a movie what genre would it be, horror, sci-fi, thriller, or gore flick?
• If Jesus was born today would he be a carpenter? Chef? Programmer? I know a guy named Jesus and he is a gardener who sends money to Mexico.
• Which is worse, terrorist or TSA thugs?
• Does national security trump civil rights, constitutional law, and international treaties?
• What would you pay for freedom? Can you put it on lay away?
• What do you call an optimal optimist? Optimist Prime?
• A pessimist is someone that sees the glass half empty, what do you call someone that sees it 3/4 empty?
• Are you a paper chaser or a paper pusher?
• Why is it that fast food is the slowest to digest?
• Are you proactive or reactive?
• Are you dependent, independent, or interdependent of others?

Randumb

• Power to the Party People.
• It’s been raining for four days and four nights, that’s like 10% of a perfect storm of biblical proportion.
• Not sure if I should take my car or jet ski to work today. Part of the freeway have flooded after two days of rain.
• Just how stores have a line for 15 items or less, they should have another line when you have 15 coupons or more.
• If ignorance is bliss, then stupidity must be enlightenment.
• The truth should fear no question and no question should fear any answer.
• Life experiences can not be made more efficient, otherwise you mis the point.
• In the future everyone will have 15 minutes of fame, and every company will have their own branded smart phone device.
• Your happiness should not depend on other people’s decisions.
• Love is not a strategy.
• Show love, not hurt!!
• Love is a fame monster.
• Dreams for sale. Like new. Never achieved.
• I nominate “I’m bluffing with my muffin” as the motto/tagline for 2009.
• I am waking unofficial autobiography for self.

Craporation

• There should be Freedom of Information Act for corporations. I want to know everything that Google knows about me and how that info is used