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Blogmouth Year in Review 2011

BlahBlog — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 18:40:29 +0000

The end of the year is a good time to reflect over the last year. 2011 was a water shed year, Osama bin Laden was killed in Pakistan, Occupy Wall Street occupied mostly public parks, the Arab Spring bloomed into bloodshed, US troops pulled out of Iraq after Iraq said so, and much more. All said and done, it was a good year. To help celebrate here are some of my favorite posts from 2011.

Occupy Revolution

Politicalol

Feardom

Pronpaganda

Retweet 2011

Retweet December 2010

BlahBlog — Sat, 08 Jan 2011 02:42:21 +0000

Here I am reblogging some retweets for the past month that broken down by subject matter. Some of these tweets also cover events that occurred in December 2010. If you like to follow along, befriend xwoop and lolprez and I’ll be sure to follow back.

Got Gov?

Bailouts, tax cuts, and deficits.
You don’t need a wikileak to know that the coordinated attack on wikileaks is by a covert government agency.
Do you think there is an office pool in some CIA break room to see when Julian Assagne will be neutralized?
The US has a policy to not negotiate with terrorists, but it is also known to fund and train them.
Since US forces can’t find Osama in Afghanistan, the TSA is searching in American travelers’ underpants.
We are enslaved in the name of freedom.
It’s not a free country, it’s a credit country.
Lady Liberty is a crack whore for oil.
I don’t want something that needs to be approved by a regulatory body in my body.
Constitutional monarchies are largely ceremonial, so is the constitution.
Some people in the current administration want to replace freedom with feardom.
for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they’ll never take… OUR FEARDOM!

Politricks

Don’t Ask, Don’t Read The Repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell Act of 2010.
Whenever someone says that they are backed by “irrefutable facts” they are making it up.
Whenever someone says that they have the smoking gun, ask for the smoking gunman.
There is a three party system in American, the Republicans, the Democrats, and Annonymous.
No one respects your political views, not even those you vote for.
One dollar, one vote.
We the sheeple.
Once elected, they ain’t effective.
Hope don’t float.
If they outright lie while campaigning what don’t you think they lie about once elected?

Econemy

Designed by Apple in California. Manufactured by Foxxcon in China.
More money more bills.
Some kids play baseball, other kids make the baseballs for $2/day.
Saying a corporation is too big to fail is like saying you are too big to eat.
The capitalism trumps innovation.
Martin Luther King JR’s estate charges academic authors $50 for each sentence of the “I Have a Dream” speech that they reprint.
“Sensory trademarks” include a duck quacking (AFLAC), a lion roaring (MGM), yodelling (Yahoo!), giggling (Pillsbury).
91 pending trademarks bear Donald Trump’s name, including “Donald J. Trump the Fragrance” and “Trump’s Golden Lager.”
Micro lenders only leads to micro loan sharks.

Propagandon’t

NPR: National Propaganda Radio @NPR
Nationalism needs an enemy.
If you are listening to this you are the resistance.
Noticed that http://OFA.BO/ resolves to @BarackObama’s campaign website. BO is the TLD for Bolivia. What happened, Barack.ly wasn’t free?
Are news networks embedded in the military or the military embedded in the news network?
Censorship is only bad when it’s done by another country, it’s good for the homeland when it’s done by your country.
Suspicious Activities Report is the new world order witch hunt.
There is a lot of chedder in the intel for terror arrests in xmas by interstate corporate sponsored eggtremists.
Notice how ‘terror arrests’ sounds a lot like ‘terrorists.’
What ever happened to all that talk about Global Warming? It’s so cold that all of NY and parts of hell have frozen over.
There are conspiracy theorists, and there are conspiracy engineers.

Question

Is the Internet half empty or half full?
Inception is a movie about implanting an idea someone’s mind through their dreams, what idea was implanted while watching the movie?
Is good the enemy of great?
If the Swiss army knife has all those blades, how does the Swiss army thank look like?
Whatever happened to Brownie the brown nose reindeer?
Which is better, a Star Wars or Lord of the Ring movie marathon?
What is your soundtrack to 2010?
When everyone thinks differently at the same time, is it really that different?
If you could invent a new holiday what would it be?
Which is worst a flake or a fake?
Why so serious?
What is your favorite Christmas movie?
Can you fake authenticity?
Is it racist to have a white sale on black Friday?

Randumb

The world is the world’s greatest theme park, go out for a ride.
It’s been raining for a week now that everything is soaking wet. I think I need to go to work in a wet suit.
There is a reason why the term committed is both used to describe a long term relationship and your state in a insane asylum.
People will always have an opinion even when they don’t have a thought.
Life is not like a box of chocolate, it’s more like a can of worms.
Natural endorphin is a natural gateway drug.
My experience and background is broad and multi-trans-dimensional.
I’m the CEO of my blog.
People make me laugh. people + lol = peoplol.
Shift happens.
I have a mind altering migraine in the membrane.
Embarrass always ends with an ASS.
Let a thousand tweets retweet.
They see me tweetin, they hatin.
The future was here.
Three Little Words: I don’t care!
Let my people dance!
Novelty is not long lasting.
Having an out of body OMG moment.
I CAN HAZ ZZZZZzzzzz….
Space is so random.
I love how my hair is styled when I wake up.
Sex is the new love.
Love is not the cure, it is the disease.
There is no ease in dying from a disease.
Effort > Excuses
Happily ever now!
Happily ever after is a lie.
Love is straight.

Overheard

OH: A little hazard pay never hurt anybody.
OH: my fingers are getting in the way of my typing.
OH: That’s a hype thing to do.
OH: xmas wrapping paper is so expensive, that is your xmas present.
OH: You are so messy you are a mess.
OH: All I did was open it and it turned on by itself.

Ideatron

Million Dollar Idea: Fortune cookies with ads and coupons instead of pseudo eastern philosophy.
Million Dollar Idea: ads on the side of metal detectors, such as stores, airports, etc.
Million dollar idea: caffeinated stem cells’ juice.
Million dollar idea of the day: BBQ tofu!
Million Dollar Idea: Bacon Juice
I can’t wait until e-ink can be used in clothes. Can you imagine your t-shirt design changing based on emotional state?
I’mma paint the curve in front my house red. I don’t know why my neighbors always parking their jalopy in front my house.

In Da Future

In the future, cartoons will deemed pornographic because cartoon character don’t have pants and are often naked.
In the future, the FBI will tap your Facebook wall, Foursquare check-ins, Twitter status updates, and Yelp reviews without a search warrant.
In the future, a realist will be called a cynic.
In the future, all electronic devices will have a secret root user and root kit pre-installed.

Retweet November 2010

BlahBlog — Sun, 19 Dec 2010 17:46:00 +0000

Here I am reblogging some retweets for the past month that broken down by subject matter. Some of these tweets also cover events that occurred in November 2010. If you like to follow along, befriend xwoop and lolprez and I’ll be sure to follow back.

Obamanation

If President Obama would to walk through a naked body scanner it would show that he is a fake.
Where in the World is Carmen Santiago? Who in the World is Barry Soetoro?
Instead of Hope, President Obama’s campaign slogan for 2012 should be Grope!

Propagandon’t

The Art of Civil Disobedience: [redacted] [classified] [censored] [national security treat level purple]
Rapid rail is an oxymoron like clean coal.
The media loves to segregate people into black and white, blue state and red state, male and female, and 18-30 years and 30-whatever.

Randumb

I belong to the church of Our Lady of No Regrets.
Feliz dia de los muertos y zombies!
Art is meant to be felt up not held up.
I’m thankful for being thankful.
I am a dream machine.
Traffic jam at In-N-Out drive thru, more at 11.
The 3G here feels like it lost a G.
Pomegranate is the flavor of the year.
Some cultures have holidays where they fast, up to a month, we have a two day holiday devoted to consumption.
Some songs are only meant to be heard with a bottle of tequila at hand.
If the Internet would re-imagine Santa, he would say LOL instead of ho! ho! ho! and kids would leave bacon out for him instead of cookies.
CDs, DVDs, Blu Rays, game cartridges, etc are future antiques sitting on someones shelf.
Randumb is the best dumb there is.
My bed is a hotbed of hot.
Just breath. Just believe. Just be.
Once you go Black Friday, you don’t go back.

Overheard

OH: Your food gave diarrhea and your sex gave me gonorrhea.
OH: The turkey made you lazy.
OH: I’m done looking at my moms wish list. It’s really an uninspiring list.
OH: He has a little too much holiday spirit in his cup.
OH: Your feelings on stuff is ruining your relationships.
OH: Can I tie you up in tinsel?
OH: Girl has nothing to show and she is showing it.
OH: Everyone needs a little glitter in their life.
OH: We we have now is only like 0.1 of what we need, but it is like 10 times better than what we had before.
OH: Harrison Ford is a clone but is no Cloney

In The Future

In the future, to travel we would have to wear TSA approved travel gowns and slippers, much like medical gowns.
In the future, the government will repress opponents by calling them copyright pirates or terrorist.
In the future, civil disobedience will be in the form of retweet.
In the future, there will be a new venereal disease vector, TSA genital groping.
In the future, if a baby is born in transit the TSA pass him or her through a x-ray scanner before the mom can hold the baby.
In the future, a baby being born will need to agree to term of service and end user license agreements.
In the future, the FBI will raid your home because of the heirloom tomatoes you are growing in your backyard.

USA TSA

I practice safe sex and safe enhanced security groping. It good to be safe from terrorists and TSA spread STDs.
I been hearing all these stories of the TSA fondling and codling with transports, I’ll be wearing a condom next time I travel to be safe.
TSA: TSA Sexual Assualt
What is the TSA’s exit plan?
Worst governmental agencies in history: the Hitler’s SS, Hussein’s Republican Guards, and Obama’s TSA.
The TSA would just as well force everyone to walk around naked so they could get a better view.
TSA want to check your private package personally! Opt out! Cock out! Opt out!
I figured out what TSA stands for, Thuggishly Screen Americans!
Can’t wait until the government starts a national database of naked body scanner pictures.
It’s not security when your own government use scare tactics.
You give up all civil rights when you give up your genitalia to government officials, because by then the government has you by the balls!

Favorite Tweets November 2010

BlahBlog — Sun, 05 Dec 2010 04:25:36 +0000

There are some funny people on Twitter. Whenever I find a funny, witty, or thought provoking I usually retweet it and favorite it. Here is a small collection of recent tweets that stoop out to me.

LOL

@DamnItsTrue: Menstruation, menopause, mental breakdowns -> most womens probIems begin with men. #DamnItsTrue
@carlmaxim: Sarah Palin says Julian Assange should be hunted down like Osama bin Laden. So he should be safe for at least a decade. #WikiLeaks
@rachelsklar: Chasing straight vodka with pickles. You know it.
@ericgonzalez: OH: “I can’t get AT&T reception at AT&T park” #lolz
@swedal: Do people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water know that spelling it backwards is Naive?
@lolprez: #rally4sanity is a rally without a cause.
@LyrIcSmasHER: In math but I feel like I’m in spanish
@Krissy90220: Makeup is one hell of a drug
@michaelnichols: Words of encouragement from my coworker: “Be Positive! Shit Rainbows!”
@summertomato: OH: “I didn’t really cook all this, but I did cut the cheese.”
@tnylgn: Eating Halloween candy and ignoring the doorbell. A little game I like to call fuck you I paid for it.
@wafflesgirls: i only illegally download music for my stolen ipod

TRU

@TheFragileKate: Nothing makes a woman more beautiful than the belief that she is beautiful :)
@Pres_Bartlet: Meg Whitman’s personal spending on her campaign: $163 million. National Endowment for the Arts 2010 budget: $161.4 million.
@ShesMorgan: We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.
@God_Damn_Batman: So Harry Potter’s parents were murdered before his eyes, now he wears a black cloak and fights evil? EXPECT A CALL FROM MY LAWYERS ROWLING!!
@maxklein: The easiest way to rob a bank is to have one
@LyrIcSmasHER: Hope is a distant memory
@SarahBlakeInc: Will I take Amazon Gift Cards as payment? Sure, when the light company does
@EssyDoesIt: Rule #1 … im #1 .

TSA

@sacca: Just saw a TSA agent check whether a laser pointer was working by shooting it directly into her eye. Should I admire her dedication?
@mistersterling: I’m considering shoving McDonald’s Happy Meal toys in my pants when I get to the airport. Hilarious consequences for sure.
@TSAagent: This #SecurityTheatre is starting to feel less like a theatre and more like a strip club. #TSA #TSAagent #BadTouch

TECH

@the_tech_bubble: Hey Groupon, $6 billion isn’t cool. You know what’s cool? Actually, $6 billion is pretty cool.
@davepell: Groupon seems to be the one company in their universe NOT willing to take a discount.
@avalanche123: “Java is a DSL for taking large XML files and converting them to stack traces”
@KieranO: What did all the Social Media Experts do for a living before social media?
@yurechko: “@arrington is the Glenn Beck of technology”
@tonystubblebine: A good tech conference always makes me want to leave early and write code. Having trouble sitting still at #w2s
@mktgdouchebag: I wonder how the person who first said “That’s for me to know and you to find out” is adjusting to Facebook.

Retweet October 2010

BlahBlog — Thu, 25 Nov 2010 22:49:38 +0000

Here I am reblogging some retweets for the past month that broken down by subject matter. Some of these tweets also cover events that occurred in October 2010. If you like to follow along, befriend xwoop and lolprez and I’ll be sure to follow back.

Got Government?

After two years into his administration, why do I feel like President Obama pulled a Nigerian scam on the American people!
Words that have lost their meaning in 2010: transparency, open, hope
Are you down with the GOP? Yeah, you know me!
War on Terror really means war x terror, resulting in more of both not less of each.
Playboy should do a an issue where all the pictures are taken from the naked body scanners used by the TSA at airport security checkpoints.
What the TSA considers optional procedures are another name for beta testing and they are testing on the public!
To opt-out is a constitutional right!
Aside from the Bible, the most often misinterpreted and misunderstood document is the constitution!
China is one giant fiefdom of corporate sweatshops.
The next world war will be over the moon’s resources!

Politricks

Ron Paul and The Rent Is Too Damn High Party Guy for president 2012!!!
There are four kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics, and campaign promises!If Hitler were alive today, he would be the president of the RIAA.
As a business woman, if Meg Whitman has spent $140 million of her own cash for her campaign, what does she expect as a ROI on that?
It is calculated that Meg Whitman has spent $140 million of her own money on her campaign. Talk about trying to buy an election.
#rally4sanity is a rally without a cause.
Democracy, based on a true story.
The Oscars should have a new award category, Best Political Campaign Smear Ad!

Econemy

Liquidity is king.
What industry can we outsource next? Agriculture?
All blue color jobs will be outsourced to robots.
American pride is well ahead of the American economy.
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could outsource wood chucking?
What a folly to believe you are saving money by buying something on sale, especially if you can do without it!
Capitalism is driven in large part by selling to people that don’t have the money things that they do not need.

Propagandon’t

When talking about Pakistan, the news often speaks of the “tribal area.”. Where is the tribal area of the US? Washington, DC!
The political correctness police is just as bad as the secret police in making examples of those that honestly speak their mind.
We all remembered the Alamo, but the reason why we should remember the Alamo we did not remember.
Another word for Cap and Trade is carbon emission fiefdom.
Another word for Cap and Trade is rations.
Education requires student participation.
The news has a statistical error rate of 30%!
Freedom begets freedom.

Question

If the universe was a painting would it be more like a Michelangelo, Picasso, or Banksy?
Is there such a thing as too much data?
Where in the world is sesame street located at?
If a zombie eats a green 1-up mushroom does it come back to life?
What is the current temperature of the universe?
What is up with teams named after years, the 49ers, the 76ers?
If your name is it, what is the word used to describe something as belonging to you? Is it, it’s or its?

Randumb

I meme therefore I am.
Grammatical rules are meant to be broken!
The future is an origami folded onto a fractal.
In the end, gravity always win!
Pumpkin is a great flavor, I should patent it.
Don’t let you conscious mind cock block your subconscious mind.
Some people are sex machines others sex robots.
I tweet therefore I am.
Stress is a gateway emotion!
Chocolate rain is a great example of a purple cow.
What is up with teams named after years, the 49ers, the 76ers? I wanna start a new team, the 10Kers BC!
3D TV is to real 3D what reality TV is to regular reality.
Give me a S. Give me a I. Give me a C. Give me a tissue. What does that spell? I’m sickie…
Man, I have a bad case of funk shui!
There no vacation for a parent!
Dim Sum is the Chinese version of Spanish Tapas.
Love hurts deeply!
Love is the other four letter word.
Love means never having to say your sorry but always admitting its you fault, “It’s my fault honey, I’ll fix that.”
It’s a thin line between love and hate, and the more passionately someone hates someone else the more that line bleeds into love.

Overheard

OH: Are you going to tweet that?
OH: What we have now is only like 0.1 of what we need, but it’s like 10 times better than what we had before.
OH: I’m not paying the heating bill for ghosts.
OH: that’s what happens when a post is auto-generated from a Twitter account with tweets entered on an iPhone by someone with fat fingers.
OH: I’m tough on you because I need you to be tough!
OH: You should be a computer security researcher since you seem to be the first to contract every computer virus known to man.
OH: There’s always been pros and cons left and right day and night then and now, always.
OH: Your logic doesn’t follow, so neither do I.
OH: This tastes like space Chinese food.
OH: Don’t you worry about it. When you start worrying about me that’s when I get worried.
OH: Oh, no, Obama is the President of the United States, he would never lie to the people, why would you think that?

Craporation

McDs should have a truth in advertising campaign and name their products to better descriptive names like McFatty, McGrub, and McTasteless.
If you farm generic genetically engineered fish twice the size and in half the time then you’ll get none of the flavor.
Monsanto should make a cooking book, Genetically Modified Foods for the Soul
In addition to fish, meat, diary, and vegetables there is a new food group, bioengineered.

Halloween

Happy Halloween! Trick or tweet!!!
If grown people come to trick or treat and they don’t have a costume they are getting veggie stix!
People getting rid of Easter candy on Halloween: http://twitpic.com/32u2ca
Why are people giving out Easter candy on Halloween.
Who you gonna call? Watching Ghostbusters!
Watching The Simpsons’ Treehouse of Horror marathon!

Retweet September 2010

BlahBlog — Sat, 16 Oct 2010 03:18:54 +0000

Here I am reblogging some retweets for the past month that broken down by subject matter. Some of these tweets also cover events that occurred in September 2010. If you like to follow along, befriend xwoop and lolprez and I’ll be sure to follow back.

Got Gov?

Fees are the new taxes.
No new wars. No new taxes.
Laws are made to make everyone out to be criminals.
Just how the US government has a Department of the Interior it should have a Department of the Pursuit of Happiness.
Stupidity is not illegal, in fact it’s usually written right into the law.
We are a nation of laws and loopholes. We are a nation of citizens and cheats.
The US is a one party system, Republicans and Democrat are two side of the same coin, two pockets in the same special interest.
The Situation for Senate.
Tax subsidy is an oxymoron.

Econemy

Life, liberty and the pursuit of capital!
Capitalism teaches people that a persons value in society is based on his or her financial net worth.
Investment bankers are high with your own supply.

Question

Is time a wave or a particle?
Ice cream or cake?
Do two majors (major major) add up to one problem?
Which is best fish sticks or meatballs?
Is there a Jehovah Witness do not call list?
Do you feel better when you save or splurge?
Why do you need drugs to kick the habit of taking drugs?
Why am I carrying all these cards, credit cards, reward cards, gift cards, hotel key cards?
What’s the Finnish word for finish?
Are you working or working it?
Is TV reality celebrity a new career choice?
Is there anything higher than cloud 9?
Can you have OCD but be to lazy to be compulsive?
What cartoon character you relate with the most?
Happy Friday the 13th! Does Hallmark have a card for the occasion?
The Great Traffic Jam of China: China does everything in epic proportions, from walls to traffic congestion?
If you could take one pill for either happiness, beauty, or intelligence which pill would you take?
If everything is said to taste like chicken, why don’t McChicken nuggets taste like chicken?

Randumb

There is a thin line between love and hate, and between alimony and all-da-money.
If I was to write a book I think it would be called Love in the Time of Porn.
I thought I’ve seen it all, backseat driver, arm chair quarterback, and now behind the spotlight reality celebrity.
Simplified Chinese Characters is an oxymoron.
New national security threat: extremist bed bugs!
Does <3 = less than three?
In a social drinker, I drink while on social networking sites.
I’m too lazy to be obsessive!
All words are made up words!
Secret of Life: Don’t Give Up
You are not your network.
If you can’t make it anywhere you can’t make it nowhere.
WILL DANCE FOR BEATS!
Things that happen to us are not like quick sand. Don’t get stuck in something that happened a long time back.
The best book you can give to any one is a blank sketch book.
At HomeTown Buffet with my home town homies.
If only dreams can go viral.
Feelings have meaning.
Nerdy is the new sexy.
All the advice you ever need: Live well, love much, laugh often, drink plenty of water, go regularly, hate the game not the player, …
Some women, instead of breast implants, should get a brain transplant.
Don’t waste too much time explaining your life to people that are not part of it.
What’s the grosses item on the McD’s menu? The mushroom angus wrap was pretty bad.
I never understood why the show Doctor Who was named that, since the Doctor is a time traveler wouldn’t s better name be Doctor When?

Million Dollar Ideas

Million dollar idea of the day: Motion detector audible buzzer device that acts as a scare crow/pigeon but is not heard by people.
Million dollar idea of the day: they have queen and king size beds, standardize on a new empress mattress size.
Million dollar idea of the day: Install translucent palm tree shaped solar panels at parking lots. It provides shade and generates energy.
Million dollar idea of the day: flavored drink that once frozen in the refrigerator turns into a smoothie/slurpee, no blender required.
Million dollar idea of the day: Wasabi Toothpaste
Million dollar idea of the day: Bling band-aid
It doesn’t really matter of the universe is expanding or shrinking, it matters if your mind is.

In Da Future

In the future, a camera will be considered a weapon.
In the future all forms marriages will be abolish.
In the future, weed will come with the terms of service and user agreement.
In the future, there will be behavior detection officers amongst us monitoring your every move.
In the future, the constitution will be redacted.
In the future, telling someone the time will be considered an insult.
In the future, Facebook and Google will have a thought crime division which will report you to the authorities for pre-crime activities.
In the future, a new car will come with power windows, dashboard cam, 4G/wifi, twitter account, facebook connect, app store, and a keg.
It is said that a man’s home is his castle, in the future a man’s home will be his prison.
In the future, politics will be known as the p-word.
In the future there will be apps for your TV, your car, your clothes, your passport, and your brain.
The future called, said it would call again later.
I make up the future as I go.

Retweet August 2010

BlahBlog — Sat, 25 Sep 2010 08:24:15 +0000

Here I am reblogging some retweets for the past month that broken down by subject matter. Some of these tweets also cover events that occurred in August 2010. If you like to follow along, befriend xwoop and lolprez and I’ll be sure to follow back.

Got Gov?

We need to win the hearts and minds of our prison population!
NAFTA’s greatest success has been the drug trade.
On this Labor Day weekend, let’s save the saved and created jobs!
A government back-door to encrypted communications is an oxymoron? It defeats the purpose of having it encrypted!

Politricks

Politicians need to understand that saying all the right words does not give your platform meaning or purpose.
Why cant a politician answer a simple yes or no question with a simple yes or no?
Everybody knows the expression, mo money mo problems. In politics its, mo elections mo special interests.
Saying that women is a better politician because they are less likely to be corrupt or lead us to war is both ignorant and sexiest.
Money may not buy you love, but it sure can buy plenty of elections!
If only we can offshore and outsource politicians!
Vote for Pedro!

Econemy

Capitalism is a pyramid scheme.
Mo money mo taxes!
Money is blinding!

Propagandon’t

There is no such thing as a conspiracy theorist, there are simply conspiracy scientists, much like how climatologist think of themselves.
The revolution will not be televised, it will be fought in your television!
A campaign promise is an oxymoron, much like military intelligence.
Peace in our time just ran out of time.

Question

If you expect a flight to be delayed, is it really delayed or on schedule?
If half the time I am half asleep, how sleepy am I right now?
What does it mean when your boss sends you a job application to the circus? Does it mean he’s willing to be a reference?
If you can’t admit your failure, how will you recognize your successes?
What is the speed of time?
If you are not doing your thing, whose thing are you doing?
Do raisins ever go bad?
Why is it that the drink menu is always larger than the food menu?

Randumb

Listening to some jammy jams in my pajamin pjs.
Will be waking up at 5AM tomorrow. SMH FML OMG FUK ARG LOL
No ketchup for my nom om om omelet. Epic FML 2.0!
Watching Cops. Piece of advice to perps, if you got baggy pants don’t run from the cops, looks like you in a potato sack race.
Eating some chipotle humus… I know it sounds like a terror organization but this stuff is the bomb.
I <3 California rolls. I wonder, if Texas has sushi rolls how would they taste? I bet they have BBQ tuna and deep fried wasabi.
Which is the greatest show bra of all time? Madonna’s cone bra, Lady Gaga’s fireworks bra, or Katy Perry’s whip cream bra?
I make the choices that bend decisions.
Everything that is remembered, will be forgotten.
From the perspective of the tuna, it doesn’t care if it’s dolphin safe.
It’s after 7PM and still over 100 degrees!!!
Rumors have been known to travel at the speed of sound.
Complaining does not mean cooperating.
Chocolate rain is a great example of a purple cow.

In Da Future

In the future, government jobs will be outsource and off-shored.
In the future, if you ask for your fourth amendment rights, you’ll be considered guilty.
In the future, to vote you have to adhere to a End User License Agreement.
In the future, a happy meal will come with a End User License Agreement.
In the future, we will be asking, which came first the egg or the vaccine?
In the future, you will be able to make a police statement by Twitter, but I would not want the police to follow me on Twitter.

Favorite Tweets July 2010

BlahBlog — Sun, 01 Aug 2010 18:13:44 +0000

There are some funny people on Twitter. Whenever I find a funny, witty, or thought provoking I usually retweet it and favorite it. Here is a small collection of recent tweets that stoop out to me.

@5tevenw: My father always told me, “Be bold! Don’t be italic.”
@momosuxx: Does my username make me look fat?
@jdickerson: Out back I hear crickets, birds, plane, car, hammering, sprinkler all at once. Distracting me from Twitter distracting me from the paper
@ButtercupD: “multi-device-ing” again…PC on lap, iPad to the left and iPhone to the right…and I like it like that!
@DamnItsTrue: Facebook is for friends that are now strangers, Twitter is for strangers that should be your friends.
@keithie: Tufte lecture: Only two industries describe their customers as “users”, computer software and drugs dealers
@centernetworks: iPhone marriage -Two iPhones got married. It was a lovely ceremony, but the reception was awful. Apparently they held it in the wrong place.
@alexia: OH: In my next life I want to be reincarnated as a computer.
@gurl: Never trust a man in flip flops.
@rands: Avoid those who use language to mystify the obvious.
@DaRealAmberRose: Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.
@NatashaYi: Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked to, but if you press the wrong button you will be disconnected!
@batfish: Bacon is the duct tape of the culinary world.
@adamjackson: “News” is just a distraction to what’s really going on in our world.
@laughlitmus: I need a software that controls US defense systems to remove human error from strategic decisions *must not become self-aware*
@SchemaCzar: The beginning of time ain’t what it used to be…
@DocHobbes: Outraged that the President does not have a plan in place in the event of a zombie out break / apocalypse.
@ladyfox14: OH: ‘It smells like SPF 50 and hash’ ‘The best two smells of summer’
@verowhite: I hate packing almost as much as I love traveling.
@spangley: OH: “rural oregon is like the west virginia of the west coast.”
@Susan_ld4e: If is the longest word
@errolmorris: Maybe 95% of all “art” is painting by numbers.
@Miss_Officer: Life is the best school. God is the best teacher. Problem is the best assignment. Failure is the best revision.
@Jason: Business plans are entrepreneurial masturbation. Please don’t send me business plans or ideas.
@mzkay2good: da way i am is cuz of my parents, n their both great but only when their in seperate rooms lol
@jlashae: Flaws r beautiful :-)
@iBangLSE: My mistakes have made me strong .
@Gbaybeeh: There’s a piece of me who leaves when you gone
@zpower: as a consumer, what sort of wacky decision tree would cause you to conclude that a $300 sony daily edition is a sound purchase?

Retweet May 2010

BlahBlog — Fri, 09 Jul 2010 05:14:49 +0000

Here I am reblogging some retweets for the past month that broken down by subject matter. Some of these tweets also cover events that occurred in May 2010. If you like to follow along, befriend xwoop and lolprez and I’ll be sure to follow back.

Got Gov?

Where is the beef, where is the change?
Some Laws are biased, others ignorant, many shortsighted, and even a few are immoral.
The police wants to record your every step/action except being arrested by the police.
BP + Oil Spill + Hurricane Season + New Orleans + FEMA = nothing is going to get done…
The government wants to regulate success.
More laws lead to less justice.
Decades ago we were promised a future that includes jet packs and space travel, now the government wants to shape the future with terrestrial rail.

Politricks

Life already has chosen life, life chooses life.
There is 100,000 years of history for immigration!
We can’t have a supreme court justice in the closet and in the pocket of Goldman Sachs.
I wonder if Elena Kagan has more litigation experience than lesbian experience.
It seems like Obama wants the supreme court to adhere the don’t ask don’t tell policy themselves.
Britain’s election resulted in a hung parliament, at least that’s what she said, and by she I mean the Queen.
Instead of marching and protesting, most are happy bitching.

Econemy

The only thing capitalism values is pure unadulterated profits.
No one is above the law, except capitalism. $$$/LAW
Memorial Day, a day to remember the men and women that served our country and enjoy the profits earned from the military industrial complex.
Crony Capitalism offers the best returns.
Credit cards are the best way more than what an item is worth.
Sweet dreams are made of debt, who are you to disagree.
They should call things for what they truly are, like credit cards are really debt cards. Debt is really what you carry.
Did anybody else feel the stock market crash just now? It felt like an earthquake.
Pirates that go legit are known as corpirates, I mean corporates.
Don’t worry Greek people, if your civilization fails the British Museum will kindly save your property in their museum in England.
I’m not sure why everyone is worried, it’s not the first time Greek civilization has collapse.
The revolution will not start with a gun shot, but with a market crash.

Propagandon’t

Vaccines are not panaceas.
The truth is that Gaza is a concentration camp, an unlabor camp.
Any event involving freedom, flotilla, humanitarian, aid, Israeli, commandos can only end with at least 15 dead Palestinians.
It seems to me that most Jewish holidays revolve around the liberation or destruction of Jews by Babylonians, Persians, Egyptians, Romans…
Watching Sunday morning propaganda shows.
God is a lie. Free markets are a lie. History is a lie. Freedom is a lie. The cake is a lie.
The one thing the education system wants you to learn is to learn to sit down, listen, and follow directions. #obey
Revolutions are about freedom, sometimes.
The network news have a secret agenda.
If one man’s trash is another’s treasure, then one man’s wasteland is another’s promise land.

Question

If people count sheeps to help them fall asleep, what do sheeps count to fall asleep?
WTF why is it that taxes and fees are worth more than the actual price of a airfare ticket?
Do you read, analogly or digitally?
Which is worse, Facebook privacy leak BP oil spill?
Is Craig’s List part of the sex trade industrial complex?
Is the best time of your life behind you, ahead of you, or right now?

Randumb

Celebrities are fictional characters.
A terrible thing is a terrible thing to go to waste.
I know nothing and have an opinion on everything.
If you are going through hell, do not stop at the rest stop.
LMFAOMG
Two men that can go about their business in pajamas: Hugh Hefner and Dalai Lama
Apparently the Buddha was a dead beat dad.
I think time is the least understood currency, and the older you are the lower your ROI on existing time.
Time is a currency.
Not even time is for ever.
The universe is estimated to be 15 billion years old, it’s just a teenager, it doesn’t even have it’s provisional driver’s license.
What kind of day is it going to be? Checking life forecast… Partial meetings scattered throughout the day… I guess I should wear pants.
I’m sure James Cameron has directed a sex tape or two, after watching Avatar my question is, you think James Cameron made a 3D Avatar porn?
I can haz some om nom nom nom.
Forget who moved my cheese, I want to know who moved the damn remote.
Drinking the Kool-Aid doesn’t make you cool!
Waiting… Life in slomo.
Who is this Jonas Bieber I keep hearing about?!
Music moves mountains.
A diamond might be a girls best friend but her shoes are her confidant.
The valuable asset you can spend on someone is time.
I’m such a bad lier that I don’t need to tell the truth.
The truth has many sides, many shades, and many dimensions.
Live, listen, learn, laugh, love, and lose yourself.
Some hide, others slide, many snide, I drive it home like a bat out of hell just frozen over by climate change FTmofoW!!!1!
I wish I could take a picture, not of what I see but what I feel.

Overheard

OH: For you to look good you would have to travel back in time.
OH: I have a lot more to say than I’ll ever be able to say, so let me say this once.
OH: It is like wanted to bake a cake, eat it too, but without having the dough.
OH: Yeah, I want that too. I want my stuff to be next to your stuff an not feel stuffy.
OH: you must be a space man, cause you always spacing out.

Futurism

The future was here!
In the future, you will be charged as a hacker for using lynx to access a website.
In the future, you will be considered an accomplice for retweeting.
In the future, you will be considered a person of interest for content you like on facebook.
In the future, you will be held in charged with treason for voting for against the incumbent.
In the flat future, a mechanic will have a more secure job than a lawyer.
In the future, all first ladies will automatically be sworn on as the senator of New York.
In the future, poetry will not be felt but computed.
Imagine a future where if you buy paint it comes with a ToS limiting you what you can paint and whether you can sell it or not and to who…

Retweet March 2010

BlahBlog — Wed, 07 Apr 2010 06:20:05 +0000

Here I am reblogging some retweets for the past month that broken down by subject matter. Some of these tweets also cover events that occurred in March 2010. If you like to follow along, befriend xwoop and lolprez and I’ll be sure to follow back.

Obamanation

After a year in office, it seems that Obama’s idea of green jobs is to have no jobs.
Obama pays surprise visit to Afghanistan, yet he hasn’t been to California in a long while.
Obama: Change is political term for more of the same, but worse.
Obama: Read my lips, no new hope.

Got Gov?

I, for one, welcome our new death panel overlords.
We have a separation between church and state, I want a separation between sports and state.
How did we get from “no taxation without representation” to “taxation without exception.”
If they put fluoride in water, nuclear waste under mountains, and pollutants in the air what would they not put in flu vaccines?
China is censoring the details behind Google’s decision to move out of China due to China’s censorship.
Failing to obey an order from a security guard will be considered as an assault!
If your ex is spying on you on Facebook so is your government.
In a police state everyone is a suspect if not an inmate.
Do we really need a vice president? Why not just get a presidential double?

Econemy

How dare the state and federal government ask for a donation into the California Fund or Presidential Election Campaign Fund?
The women’s movement demanded equal pay for equal work. The investment banker’s movement demands equal ROI for unequal risk.
The television rights of state executions can bring in millions of revenue to cash strapped states.
If cash is king, then debt is bondage and credit is cards are chains.
Retire young, rich, and fabulous not old, broke, and ordinary.
Hedge funds are modern day alchemy.
The American dream is made in communist China.
Hollywood Video is renaming itself to Bankruptcy Video.

Question

Did dinosaurs also taste like chicken?
Is Lady Gaga the new Madonna?
When Ke$ha goes broke how will she spell her name?
Are you a pusher or a pleaser?
What is the cost of easy money?
Do we need black boxes in cars?
Is China broke?
Is NASA controlled by the greys?
Is your job holding you back?
Is the Prius the new Pinto?
Are hotel key cards the new baseball card?
Is there such a thing as tofu salmon?
Is PHP 6 the new Perl 6?
Is a great hack art or science?
Which is worse, a hater or a debtor?
Is there a sub-atomic unit of time that cannot be divided into smaller time elements?
If your body is an instrument, what part of your body needs some fine tuning?
What is your body language saying about you?
What color are your feelings?
Are you a revolutionary or a rebel?
Is what you like how you are like?

Randumb

95% of statistics confuse 82% of the population.
Two 50%s don’t add up to one 100%.
Headache in the membrane.
Time is not digital, it is a fractal.
Misfortune Cookie: What you are doing now is probably illegal, in bed.
I bet prehistoric animals would have been delicious, like a T-Rex t-bone steak.
Uncle Sam: The Puppet Master
Hate grows with compound interest.
Killing the Buddha in the name of! And now you do what they told you! And now you do what they told you!
I would like the my unauthorized autobiography to be named either Same Difference, It Wasn’t Me, or Who Dat Up In Herre?
Don’t trust the 800 pound gorilla as far as you can trow it especially if it is riding the elephant in the room.
People’s perception of others is often wrong, worse yet is our perception of other people’s perception of us.
Create a purple cow, make your competitors into a donkeys, and milk the golden goose out of everything it is worth.
Even a tough cookie softens up with a little milk.
A flower’s petal is nature version of a solar panel.
Math is the sum of all my fears.
Ignorance is always refreshening.
Engaged should be the new married.
Stuck between space and time.
Sometimes cheap is better than free.
In the future everything will buzz, tweet, or beep.
Control freaks usually want to control what they can’t do.
People pleasers don’t please themselves.
What you don’t know won’t hurt you unless you think the worst if everyone all the time.
There is no better time for happiness than now.
Allegedly Tiger Woods likes green jackets and golden showers
Tiger Woods and Jesse James should be on Sex Rehab with Dr. Drew.

Overheard

OH: Homelessness, such a turnoff.
OH: Your high horse is a pink pony, get off it. It makes you look stupid.
OH: You are going to choke on my positive energy.
OH: Did you cancel your mind?
OH: What is the point of caffeine free coke? Do I have to put coffee or crack into my coke?

Politricks

On certain countries in the middle east, women’s equal rights movements means they can also be suicide bombers.
I’ve heard of the Tea Party Movement, now the Coffee Party Movement, I’m waiting to start the Beer Party after my buzz goes down.

Propagandon’t

You are not a robot, you are just programmed to think like one.
The news are re-enactments.

War Racket

There is a cold war between China and Google.
To prolong war is to a crime against humanity.
The problem with having a large standing army is that someone will eventually want to deploy it.

Craporation

If China doesn’t care about basic human rights, why do companies think it cares about their copyrights?
Google deserves the Nobel Peace Prize for leaving China and giving up that market to Microsoft/Yahoo would collaborate with the gestapo.